VOICE - UNEXPECTED RESULTS FROM MY 2015 ONE LITTLE WORD

My One Little Word for 2015 was VOICE.  Now that we are a couple months into 2016, I thought I would do a final "check-in" and recap of what this word has grown to mean to me.

Being true to myself and doing so bravely were the big ideas behind choosing VOICE as my word for 2015.  I also had smaller, spin-off hopes and goals related to the word, but I really wanted to focus on giving myself the freedom to live confidently as me.

If you follow Gretchen Rubin (via books, podcast, blog, etc.), you have probably heard her personal commandment to "Be Gretchen."  Choosing voice was, in part, my way of reminding myself to "Be brooke."

As the year progressed, I found myself challenged by the lack of tangible, doable action items related to my word.  I really wanted to be able to make a list and work my way through it, crossing things off as I went along.  My word, or at least my interpretation of it, did not lend itself to this.

Instead, it was more of a subjective, "feeling" type word.  It required reflection - on both big and small scales.  I tried to continually ask myself, "What choice would I make if I were being true to myself?"  When it was time to look back, I asked myself "Have I been true to my own voice?  Am I headed somewhere I want to head?"

By the time I reached the end of the year I was more than ready to be done with this word.  I do feel like I am in a better, braver place when it comes to following my own voice.  But, I think I was already kind of there before.  My natural tendency is to question every expectation and to only follow through on the ones that make sense to me.  (I'm a questioner.)  So, I'm not sure "voice" really got me much further along the path.

But, (and I'm thankful for this but) there have been some unexpected and unintended results that came from having this word in my life and keeping it at the front of my conscience.

First, Sam.  He started speech/language therapy last August and his little voice has just blossomed in the intermittent months.  He is still a long ways behind a "typical' child of his age, but the results of therapy (and home work) have been amazing.  Although this link to my word was unintentional, the outcome is pretty fabulous.  I have loved watching him conquer each of the goals that his therapist sets out for him and seeing his language skills mature along the way.

Second, blogging.  I haven't been doing it and I'm more than okay with that.  While I don't intend for this to be "the end" of my blogging life, I really like that I have come to terms with writing or not writing as I feel so moved.  For too long, I put completely unnecessary pressure on myself to share on a set schedule and, over time, I began to put my role as "blogger" above things that were ultimately more important.

I love to write and I usually feel like I have something I want to share with the world, but the why behind it had kind of morphed into an icky thing.  It was part obligation and part "your voice doesn't exist / matter / hold value" if you're not sharing it with the internet at large.

I think that blogging was the real/big reason that I needed voice to be my word for 2015.  I needed to get to a place where I could release this part of my life from the weird pedestal where I had placed it.

Now, two months into 2016, I think I'm there.  I think I've sufficiently given it up and done so for the right reasons.  I feel like I can now come back to it with a different perspective.  So, you may find me here or you may not.  My plan is to write when I want to write and to not write when I don't want to write....in other words, just doing what feels real and true and fits with my voice.

Cheers and thank you for reading.

More posts on this topic:

One Little Word: Voice
Voice: January
Voice: February
Voice: March
Voice: April
Voice: May-September